Where do I go when I feel at once so ready to be launched and listless? I could feel the gritty, sour feeling in my mouth and somehow I could seperate all the awful things I had done, as if they had claimed different spots inside me and they were aggravated and mourning the purity of a landscape untouched.

When I try to boil down simple truths, I can never find God. Only small imprints of morality waning. I refuse to relinquish the thought of it. I feel like I have been searching for God, but in actuality I have been trying to replace God, to be God or a god. This is a fruitless search because believing what I've come to know to be true is slipping and as I find myself in a different epoch of life each passing hour, puts me in a state of mind of complete depravity.

So as my soul seeks, my body feels as if it is free of all constraints. In moral limbo do I pursue all the evil things in life.